A Flash In The Dark

A simple journey down some unknown road was illuminated by the light of some unknown electronic object. There I was minding my own business (and speed) on the outskirts of Stuttgart. Nice road..... Nice dual carraigeway...... Leisurely 100 or so KPH..... So why illuminate the road for me Mr German Transport Engineer?

So now we wait for that wonderful German Xmas stamp on the envelope, or do we get lucky?????

How strange.....

Another round of motorway journey with the last couple actually being in a car. I have decided that if I was ever prime minister the first thing that I would do is abolish them. Why is it that people drive, er sorry queue, on them in cars for hours on end. All these people doing endless journeys for probably no reason.

I am convinced that if you stopped half the people on motorways and asked them what they were doing the answer would be 'Oh just going for a drive'. The car is rapidly becoming an evil of modern day lving. They get in the way of people and why oh why do they allow those idiots who insist that everyone is going way too fast and by going slow in the outside lane then it makes the motorways so much safer.

And that brings me back to my pet subject. On a random survey on my last two days motorway driving the car sitting there in the outside lane at 65 MPH with nobody in front of the...... 48% were Rover drivers, 45% were Honda drivers and 6% had stickers in their back window saying 'If only they still made Rover cars'.

Making Movies

You know how something sparks a memory. Well today it is the unlikely sound (for me) of Dire Straits on Planet Rock Radio. Now there's a thing from their Making Movies album. Suddenly time has stood still and you are transported to a place and a time that is long gone. Best if we don't go there............

It's what happens isn't it?

Pompous Officious and Downright Rude

I had a meeting with someone from the local council today. She was Pompous, Officious and Downright Rude........

Our road is being closed for an event that nobody has told us about. Not me, my fellow trader neighbours or the residents who live in the flats around us. Their idea of notification is to 'pretend' we sent you all a letter. Nobody received it so everyone of us are all calling the council liars er.......... don't think so.

Posters have been put up around the area to tell us the road is being closed. There is not one single one. I am told that there's one in the shop across the road - er mrs official it is advertising a table top sale. No wonder she can see all of these other posters!

And as for deliveries or staff getting home after work; well that's none of their problem.......

It's no wonder that so many people in the private sector (and individuals) get so annoyed with the way that some council officials treat people. And then she said it's only for 3 working hours. Excuse mrs Part Timer but some of us in the private sector work a little bit longer than that.

Alter Bridge - er Bring Back Black Stone Cherry......

A mesmerising performance from Black Stone Cherry at the LG arena last night. They have come a long way since I fist saw them at the Carling Academy a few years ago. Just how do you follow that? Bring on Alter Bridge? er No thanks!

We were met with a wall of noise that about the only discernible thing was the bass and whether it was the bass drum or bass guitar it just was all too ridiculously bass loud. As we left after about six or seven numbers we joined quite a few others walking back to their cars and muttering about how good Black Stone Cherry were and how the bass on Alter Bridge was louder than a noisy Motorhead concert.

What a shame. I am now playing ABII to remind me of what they can sound like.

I want you all to listen very carefully

The worst drivers in my humble opinion.....

1. A Rover driver with a hat
2. A Honda driver with a hat
3. A Rover driver without a hat
4. A Honda driver without a hat
5. Someone who is thinking of buying a Rover car

Try the test next time you drive.

• Who is it that drives at 45 MPH all the time along roads, irrespective of the speed limit?
• Who stops at roundabouts when nothing is coming?
• Who stops for other road users in the most inappropriate places?
• Who signals right on roundabouts when they are actually going straight on?
• Who stops on main roads to let people cross the road when there is no other traffic around?

Yes you know the answer!!!!

It's Not Good

My riding this morning...... Firstly we had the lovely sail along the motorway cameras without a care (or speed consideartion) in the world, despite the mandatory 60 MPH limit. Then there was the 'let's just nip in front of this artic' on the filter lane, I know he was being a bit of an enthusiastic artic man, so abandondment was the right course. And finally! The overtakes on the queue of cars going at 40 MPH up the local road. Please we are better than that.

Then to get pulled by the police just because of my pillion. Well whatever next (LOL).

Not Too Old For It

Getting old are we? Don't like loud music? Bit busy for you is it? Getting Late?

Having just eaten out at a very loud and noisy TGI's in Coventry I say party on! Rammstein is coming in Stuttgart soon and I just can't wait. Last year was Combichrist in support, soooooooooooo good. This year let it be a surprise.

Work hard - play hard. AND STOP THE MOANING.

Neutral - No Thanks...

There I am minding my own business cruising (LOL) around the Shropshire countryside when a sharp bend beckons. No problem there matey. Preparation - change down a gear. Foresight - plan ahead for the hazard. Vison - Keep a good and focused view on everything around you. Drive - Power your way round the corner.

The reality..........? Ah well there was this false neutral and just when the two four by fours appeared. Power? What f***ing power. More like gliding! Nice to get the tyres well scrubbed in though.

Why does beer last so long?

Strange thoughts came over me as I was 'plodding' around the M42 yesterday. Why does beer last so long? When I was a teenager I could down 6 pints before you could say cheers....... Now you buy a six pack of small bottles and after around 1.8 litres (just over 3 pints) you think enough. Don't feel the slightest bit drunk but my body is saying oiii stop it!

So you buy an 8 pack and it lasts for more than one day.

A world without bikes

I have entered a bikeless world. Night after night and morning after morning I traverse our roads and motorways and there are no bikes. Not even a little learner putt putting along. Where are they all? Has someone spirited them all away.

And yet there I go along whizzing past slow moving cars with some drivers giving me that whistful look ' if only......'.

A Sunny Morning

Out this morning on a summy Sunday morning with my IAM group. Lovely weather even if there was a BMW or two too many. Rode with T today who has a 'cool looking' Aprilla Shiver. This translates to 'The engine looks rather like a diesel engine'....... Of course proceedings were delayed whilst one of those really reliable BMW's failed to start.

Main thing as I keep saying is to ride safe. If you are often braking into corners then you're going too fast. This time of year leaves, mud, fallen branches, diesel, potholes and slippery white lines are just some of the things lurking out there.

Just where did that swimming pool come from?

324 homeowners in northern Athens said they had a swimming pool but 16,974 were detected by satellite photography. Now don't call me a do-gooder but there is tax evasion and then there is tax evaison! With Greece in such a crisis financially and the people there evading taxes like there was no tomorrow (perhaps there is no tomorrow!) is this not a lesson for those around us all who are evading taxes and cheating the state.

Sounds a bit right wing that but I pay taxes and don't have a swimming pool!

String Vests and Dinosaurs

So there was I last night in a very nice pub with my very nice lady. On the next table was a young woman wearing a string vest; yep I will say it again ' a string vest'. It took me back to the 5 live debate where some politcally correct woman started spouting about the dinosaurs who look at attractive and/or scantily clad women. Well put me in that extinct breed please because if some nice woman decides to flaunt herslef in front of me I am not going to say 'Very sorry but you really musn't look these days'. The same if a scantily clad hunk walked past; if my nice lady stopped eating for a while then I would say 'Just like I used to look...... (LOL). No problem miss PC. And above is why......................

Wanker - that's me

So another vital ingredient to a safe commute at night is a good crash helmet. What better than a state of the art Shoei flip top aka police helmet no less. Well what would be better if there was someone wearing it who was not a wanker. Yes I hold my hand up, it was me that spent 5 minutes cursing that the flip mechanism wouldn't release and then having to somehow get the thing of my head without raising the flip.

So the air vent lever is a bit near to the flip up release and it was dark. Bollocks says I unlike the bemused spectators who were creased up in laughter.

Anyway nearly got overtaken by a car last night. It's amazing how no cars go at over 70 MPH on the motorway as obviously I don't speed now do I..............

Happy Commuting

Well here we are after the first day of what is going to be a three month long commute in winter at night on my trusty Triumph Tiger. The plan is a 60 mile journey late at night which includes 25 miles of country roads and then an early morning return - just don't ask about the lady who is the person at the end of all this........

If anyone sees me around the M40/M42 (White Tiger) give us a beep.

Preliminary tips.
1. Hein Gericke Hi-viz jacket
2. Heated Grips
3. ABS brakes
4. Almost weekly ride outs with my IAM group
5. Fitted a very loud horn
6. Try not to sing when riding

Day 1. So there we are easy in the dark with the parking light which Triumph claim is a headlight down those nice wet and pitch black country roads. So much skill, so much grace and the countersteer that only someone of my skill could possibly exhibit; er so why did the front wheel give away in a rapid vibrating style movement on that bend? Did I notice it? No, but my buttocks did! So after 10 miles I decided the best thing would be to skip the country lanes and take the other route through the streetlamped urban sprawl until I hit the motorway. No problems on that but the next morning it's light so what could possibly go wrong? Well the broken branch in the road as I came back around some bends on the country lane bit helped to 'focus' my buttocks again. As for the motorway, 35 miles of centre lane sam.

Centre Lane Sam

The worst drivers on the motorway? Well after Sunday's 330 mile round trip my beliefs have only been re-inforced. Why nobody uses the inside lane beggars belief. Then there are those who just sit there at 60 MPH in the centre lane for mile after mile after mile irrespective of any other traffic. Throw in a few Rover drivers and there you have it....... Another joyful journey that should have taken 30 minutes less, if only people drove properly!

Another Day Another Year Another Life

So there we are with another year gone another sad looking wrinkle. Still musn't grumble still into the kind of music that parents of days gone by always moaned about. And......... some of the other wrinklies do look as though they have got a pillow casde under their shirt!